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Dear Bachi, my husband has become a stranger

Dear Bachi,

I’m a 27-year-old woman and have been married to my 29-year old husband for 18 months. We had dated for seven long years and finally tied the knot because we were now more mature and were convinced this was the real thing. I’m no longer sure it is.

We were perfectly in tune those past seven years, but now there seems to be only disharmony. Or, worse, tunelessness. The man I knew so well for seven years has become like a stranger who has recently walked into my life. There is no romance left.

Life has become so monotonous with the same routine. I try my best to keep the spark alive but there is no response from the opposite side. Did we make a mistake going to the mandap?

–Longing for Lost Love

Dear Longing for Lost Love,

You may have dated for seven years, but that’s no reason to imagine that the honeymoon will last as long. On the contrary. It’s a question of ‘been there, done that’, and jadedness sets in. It’s a no-win situation.

Date too long, and there’s nothing left to discover about each other. Date for too short a time and you might find unpleasant surprises in what you discover about each other – too late.

There’s also the scenario where signing that paper sends out the signal that & Hey, I’ve got her and so no longer have to go into the bother of wooing her and all that romantic nonsense.’ It’s known as TFG, Taken for granted. What to do? Some men are like that only. Including yours, sadly.

Look you had your time on Cloud 9, for an enviably long time. So come down to terra firma. There’s more to marriage than wine and roses. Be grateful it hasn’t deteriorated to whine and poses.

You don’t have to stop wanting companionship, but you should start accepting a changed definition of it. Once you do, you might find that the indifference is only in your imagination. Good luck.

Ask your questions to Bachi @youaskweanswer@timesinternet.in

(Write Giving Gyan in the subject line of your email)



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Disclaimer

Views expressed above are the author’s own.



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